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03 October 2006 @ 7:10 PM
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Ryan Adams- Come Pick Me Up |
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The fact that everyone keeps talking about college and that I can't go no matter what just depresses me.
All because of my dad. I hope he's happy.
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21 September 2006 @ 8:09 PM
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I had so much fun today.
I only had two classes so Allison and I went to Pentagon City and bought some stuff for her new apartment. She got some $20 shower curtains just because they were purple and lace and looked "fancy". She also bought some other stuff that I liked because I told her that I would be hanging out at her apartment all the time so she might as well get some stuff that I liked, so she did. Har har.
Later we went to her apartment and she tried to help me with my outline for my thesis, and here is what she came up with:
I. Intro
A. Blah
B. More blah
C. Even more blah
II. Middle shit
A. Stuff that I don't care about.
B. *Pizza stain*
III. Fin
A. Please, for the love of god, give me an A.
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17 September 2006 @ 9:09 PM
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Rooney - Tell Me |
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I haven't been to any of my Day 2 classes in two days. I haven't done my thesis statement and I don't want to go to my thesis seminar class. I could have worked on my thesis statement but instead I worked on my eljay layout. Pathetic.
At least I leave early. I'm going to have to repeat that in my mind all day tomorrow.
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12 September 2006 @ 5:09 PM
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This is going to be a long entry. I'm sorry, but I have to get this out of chest, this is the only place I can talk about this since I don't have anyone else to talk to about this. There might be lots of typos on here, but I don't care.
My father just recently got an offer to work in New York. At first I thought that he would NEVER take this job because me, being stupid, thought that he would stay here since he 'cares' about my sister and I. I just got a call from my mother saying that he wants to take the job and he also wants a divorce, and this time he is serious about it.
I honestly thought that everything was going better. My parents were getting along and I was finally getting along with him. I was finally feeling that everything that happened in the past was out the door and I finally had my father back. I'm sorry that I wanted the stereotypical family, I'm sorry that I finally wanted to be happy for once in my life. I'm sorry that I was finally happy that I haven't cried in while. I'm sorry that I never had a happy family and I was finally happy that it was all changing around.
My sister is so close with my dad and it hurts me and it makes me cry my eyes out thinking how she is going to react to this. She has the kind of relationship with my father that made me envious at times. He knows everything about her, and he barely knows what my favorite color is. But this is going to break her heart, and just thinking about it breaks mine.
Ever since she was born I promised myself that I would do everything in my power so that she would never get hurt and this is out of my power. I just don't know what to do. I didn't want her to be me, I didn't want her to live what I did. I don't want to see her see what I saw. This weakness of not being able to protect her hurts me.
I wish he never got this job. I'm sure he's happy about it, but I'M NOT. I want him to be here for my sister and I. I know I'm acting like a child, typing all of this and crying my eyes out but that's how I feel. I wish that my life was one of those 50's tv shows, everything was just dandy. The mom and dad loved each other, the kids loved their parents, the parents would never leave their children. Who am I kidding.
I wish I had someone's shoulder to cry on. I don't want to cry infront my sister because I'm supposed to be the older sister. Older sisters never cry. They have to be strong. I can't cry infront of my mother because I don't want her to think that I'm weak.
I need help.
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07 September 2006 @ 5:09 PM
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Liz Phair - Flower |
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+ I JUST REALIZED THAT MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP!! DUDE! 17!!!! I remember when I was younger I would drive my friends crazy with my birthday countdowns.
+ BUY ME STUFF. NOW.
+ Dude, this song I'm listening is a dirty song..and I mean DIIIIIRRRRRRTTTTTYYYYYYY.
+ VINCENT IS OUT OF PR! THERE IS A GOD!!!
/hyper
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