cat

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 23:43:10 GMT

The fact that everyone keeps talking about college and that I can't go no matter what just depresses me.

All because of my dad. I hope he's happy.

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 00:23:26 GMT

I had so much fun today.

I only had two classes so Allison and I went to Pentagon City and bought some stuff for her new apartment. She got some $20 shower curtains just because they were purple and lace and looked "fancy". She also bought some other stuff that I liked because I told her that I would be hanging out at her apartment all the time so she might as well get some stuff that I liked, so she did. Har har.

Later we went to her apartment and she tried to help me with my outline for my thesis, and here is what she came up with:

I. Intro
A. Blah
B. More blah
C. Even more blah
II. Middle shit
A. Stuff that I don't care about.
B. *Pizza stain*
III. Fin
A. Please, for the love of god, give me an A.

Mon, 18 Sep 2006 01:08:33 GMT

I haven't been to any of my Day 2 classes in two days. I haven't done my thesis statement and I don't want to go to my thesis seminar class. I could have worked on my thesis statement but instead I worked on my eljay layout. Pathetic.

At least I leave early. I'm going to have to repeat that in my mind all day tomorrow.

Tue, 12 Sep 2006 21:55:34 GMT

This is going to be a long entry. I'm sorry, but I have to get this out of chest, this is the only place I can talk about this since I don't have anyone else to talk to about this. There might be lots of typos on here, but I don't care.

My father just recently got an offer to work in New York. At first I thought that he would NEVER take this job because me, being stupid, thought that he would stay here since he 'cares' about my sister and I. I just got a call from my mother saying that he wants to take the job and he also wants a divorce, and this time he is serious about it.

I honestly thought that everything was going better. My parents were getting along and I was finally getting along with him. I was finally feeling that everything that happened in the past was out the door and I finally had my father back. I'm sorry that I wanted the stereotypical family, I'm sorry that I finally wanted to be happy for once in my life. I'm sorry that I was finally happy that I haven't cried in while. I'm sorry that I never had a happy family and I was finally happy that it was all changing around.

My sister is so close with my dad and it hurts me and it makes me cry my eyes out thinking how she is going to react to this. She has the kind of relationship with my father that made me envious at times. He knows everything about her, and he barely knows what my favorite color is. But this is going to break her heart, and just thinking about it breaks mine.

Ever since she was born I promised myself that I would do everything in my power so that she would never get hurt and this is out of my power. I just don't know what to do. I didn't want her to be me, I didn't want her to live what I did. I don't want to see her see what I saw. This weakness of not being able to protect her hurts me.

I wish he never got this job. I'm sure he's happy about it, but I'M NOT. I want him to be here for my sister and I. I know I'm acting like a child, typing all of this and crying my eyes out but that's how I feel. I wish that my life was one of those 50's tv shows, everything was just dandy. The mom and dad loved each other, the kids loved their parents, the parents would never leave their children. Who am I kidding.

I wish I had someone's shoulder to cry on. I don't want to cry infront my sister because I'm supposed to be the older sister. Older sisters never cry. They have to be strong. I can't cry infront of my mother because I don't want her to think that I'm weak.

I need help.

Thu, 07 Sep 2006 21:48:41 GMT

+ I JUST REALIZED THAT MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP!! DUDE! 17!!!! I remember when I was younger I would drive my friends crazy with my birthday countdowns.

+ BUY ME STUFF. NOW.

+ Dude, this song I'm listening is a dirty song..and I mean DIIIIIRRRRRRTTTTTYYYYYYY.

+ VINCENT IS OUT OF PR! THERE IS A GOD!!!

/hyper

Sat, 02 Sep 2006 19:42:14 GMT

So yesterday my friend Allison made me get a myspace because she thought it would be "fun".

Here's my thing:
http://www.myspace.com/jellybonessss

I basically have no friends, it's like elementary school all over again. Add it.

Another thing, I love this new Beck song. It's awsome.

Mon, 28 Aug 2006 20:11:03 GMT

Today was the first day of school. It was okay, I saw some of my friends today. Where were you Chelsia?! I was looking for you!

1st class: HAM Thesis. Boooooooring.
2nd class: Computer Applications. Easy A.
3rd class: Math. She looks like she is going to give out lots of homework =(
4th class: English. I love love love this class because I have Ms. Swann again.
5th class: World Geography. I hate EVERYONE in my class. Seriously EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the class. I've hated them since junior high and I still do.

Leaving early to go home felt soo good. Watching t.v. with an a/c = heaven.

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 23:55:21 GMT

Monday is going to be the end of the world.

AKA

The first day of my OFFICIAL diet. Not like my old "I'll eat a salad every month or so" diet.

Goodbye fries, I shall miss you. Goodbye cheeseburgers, you were the best. Goodbye chocolate chip cookies, you were awsome.

Also, monday is the first day of school =( I DON'T WANT TO SEE MS. WRIGHT EARLY IN THE MORNING AGAIN!! Damn you ham thesis.

Tue, 22 Aug 2006 16:38:54 GMT

I finally fixed my schedule and I'm very happy with it. Mainly because I have early dismissal. YESSS

The only thing I have to do is go to my counselor and fix my transcript because it says that I never took a foreign language or a lab science. WTF dude. I had to endure soooo much frustration during those four years of spanish classes!

Things I have to do before the week is done:
1. Go to the counselor.
2. Turn in a note from my mom that says that I will be picking up my sister everyday so I can get the early dismissal.
3. Type up my books reports.

Where did my summer go =(

Sun, 20 Aug 2006 03:00:58 GMT

Today for the first time my father and I finally had a meaningful conversation. Usually our conversations would be like:

'Hi'
'Hi'
'How are you'
'Good'
'Ok, bye'

At first it was a little weird because we didn't really talk much but then I realized that I do want conversations where we can talk about anything without any awkwardness. I want to talk like we used to when I was little.